Learning to Let Go
by Nature9000
Summary: A sudden tragedy turns Trina Vega's world upside down and forever tears her from her family, leaving only two lives uncertain and one of her sister's friends alive. As their world begins to fall apart, the survivors grapple with the loss and find it difficult to adjust. Can they find a way to live their lives and and say goodbye, or will the pain of loss be too much to bear?
1. Explosive Nightmare

Learning to Let Go

Disclaimer: I own nothing

A/N: This idea came to me, something that I think would be interesting to see the characters involved bouncing back from tragedy, or trying to at the very least.

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Chapter 1 (Explosive Nightmare)

"Okay how much do I have to pay?" Asked the eager eighteen year old girl in a long, red satin dress. Trina stood before the receptionist of the college she wanted to attend and was eager to get home and tell her family the news. "The entrance fee one-thirty, right?"

"Yes ma'am," The receptionist replied. Trina shuffled through her Chanel purse and removed her wallet. She fumbled excitedly with the credit card and handed it to the woman with a bright smile. "You seem excited." The lady returned a smile and Trina laughed.

"Oh I am. You wouldn't believe how much I've been looking forward to this." She was going to prove to her family she could do something, though she knew they already thought she could get to where she was now. "I don't really know what I want to study just yet."

"That's okay, not everyone knows when they first start. Test the waters and when you find something you enjoy and something you mesh with, you have your answer." Trina nodded back at her and looked out the nearby window.

In her mind she wanted to go into criminal justice like her father, but part of her was thinking about health like her mom. Even still she did enjoy the arts like her sister.

Although Tori's friends didn't think she was that good of a singer or an actor, she knew it was just that easy to find a vocal coach and learn the trade. She never let what they said get the better of her, or if she did, she tried to ignore them to the best of her ability.

"I'm thinking either something in the health field like maybe a nutritionist, maybe something in criminal justice, or dancing." She wasn't terrible at dancing, not so much since she learned martial arts some time ago and had remarkable balance. It was a matter of knowing dance moves and choreography that she had to contend with. "Do you think I can talk to some advisors when I'm undecided?"

"Of course you can." Her heart skipped a beat and she made her way outside. The campus was big, and she was grateful for her father being able to pay for her to take courses there.

Still, it made her nervous. She wouldn't start until the fall, so she had a few months to lose sleep over her college career beginning. "Mom, Dad, Tori…I'm going to make you proud of me."

The warm wind kissed her cheeks. She closed her eyes and hummed softly while thinking about the way things were beginning to fall into place for her. Now that she was starting college, maybe they'd finally acknowledge her as being capable of sticking with something and getting through it. Now they'd finally accept her and love her like she loved them.

Tori's friends-mostly Jade-would mock her and say she was too obsessed with being the center of attention. Trina didn't think she was obsessed with it, anybody would want to feel accepted and valued by their family.

Tori was beginning to, and the sisters were arranging a dinner date together when she was done with the college. Right now Tori had all her friends at the house, so she couldn't be with Trina like she wanted to be in order to celebrate her admission into college.

Trina was a bit jealous of her sister's friends taking Tori's time up, and that was why she often pushed herself on them-trying to get involved with the things they were doing.

"If only you could see this place." Trina turned and looked to the bell tower behind her, grinning as a musical chime rang out from it. In front of her, across the street was a large grassy area that resembled a park. It had four pathways and a fountain in the center that was bordered by a sidewalk and hedges.

There was a large building on the far right that was the business school. On the left of the quad were two buildings and an open space between them-she wasn't sure what the one farther away was for, but she had been told the closer one was for education.

Straight across on the other side was a rectangular shaped building called the Martin Hall. This was the criminal justice building.

Her heart skipped a beat and she started to envision herself in uniform. "There are so many options," she whispered, "So many things to choose from."

"Miss Vega!" Trina flinched and looked to the right. When she saw Mr. Sikowitz emerging from his brown sedan she started to smile. "Fancy seeing you here."

"Hey." She approached him while pulling her purse strap over her shoulder. "I just got accepted." Sikowitz laughed and extended his palm, letting her give him a high five.

"I knew you could get in."

Her family didn't realize that Mr. Sikowitz had become a great mentor to her throughout her years at Hollywood Arts. She felt terrible at her initial audition, but Sikowitz pulled her aside and told her not to give up, and that he would try to help her out as much as he could.

He was a friend to her, someone that she could talk to when she couldn't talk to her parents or her sister. He gave her advice and nothing more than a solid mentorship. "What are you doing here Mr. Sikowitz?"

"I need to make payments on my nephew's tuition. He lives with me now, and I've taken over funding to keep him going through college." She pursed her lips and tilted her head to the side. "He just got his Associate's Degree. I would have sent him here, but he started working over the summer."

"Oh."

"I thought you mentioned that your sister was going to join you today?"

"She was, but Jade and the others wanted to spend some time with her." Trina shrugged and watched her mentor scratch at his beard. "Mom and Dad are off from work too, so I think Tori wanted to take advantage of them actually being home."

"And you?"

"Oh I couldn't wait to get over here." She curled her fingers around the strap of her purse and raised her eyebrows high. "I want them to see the initiative I'm making, and then they can see the classes I'm starting up and everything."

"I'm sure they see it, and I bet they are very proud of you."

"I don't know. I still don't know what direction I want to go. I mean I have some ideas I've narrowed it down to…"

"That's more than many people who are just starting out with college, Miss Vega." Sikowitz leaned against his car and hooked his right leg over his left. "More importantly is that you do something you want, believe in yourself and prove to yourself that you can do it and I believe your family will be very proud of you."

"I hope so. Maybe Tori's friends are right though." Sikowitz raised an eyebrow and she bowed her head. "Maybe I am trying way too hard."

"They are your family. They love you unconditionally even if they don't act like it."

"I know. I love them." She did often do things with the hope of pleasing them, as though they were the center of her life. There were time she doubted their affection, though she knew they cared in their own way, so she did try a little too hard. "I'd do anything for them, Mr. Sikowitz. I know sometimes I can be self-centered and desperate for attention, but really…I love my family and I would do absolutely anything to make them happy."

"You have to make yourself happy too. Live for yourself as well. After all, they won't always be around."

"I know." She chuckled and shrugged. It was hard to imagine a time when her family wouldn't be around. Even when they pushed her away, they still held onto her.

David was a protective father and always had been. The two of them would often go down to the shooting range or to the lake, and then there were times when she was growing up that he'd take her out and teach her to play baseball. She was and had always been a daddy's girl, and even now she still considered herself as such.

For Holly, sometimes the woman could space out, but she still cared about her family. When Trina had the stage accident and was rushed to the hospital, Holly was working at the time and did everything possible to make sure she was okay. Then there was the time when Jade drained Tori of her blood, Holly chewed the nurse out for continuing to draw blood.

Then there was Tori-the greatest sister in the world. They had their problems, and she knew she was a nuisance at times-but she loved Tori more than anything. The pair were inseparable when they were kids, and even though it wasn't that way anymore, they were still closer to each other than any of their friends.

"Anyway. I'm fixing to check the student center out. Have you seen it?"

"Oh yes. I believe you will enjoy it here, my nephew says it is an amazing campus."

"I know, it looks so beautiful. I mean the freshly cut grass, and all the trees. I can't wait to start. I can't wait to tell Tori all about the classes I'm going to take in the fall."

Sikowitz hooked a finger over his upper lip and curled a smile. "What are you taking?"

"Oh basic courses." She raised up a small folder that she'd been holding onto and opened it to view a sheet of paper. "English 1113, Rhetoric and Composition with Dr. Peter Fields." Sikowitz hummed and Trina continued to scan the page with her eyes. "History 1133, Survey to 1865 with Dr. Dirk Lindemann."

"Those two are excellent professors. You will enjoy them."

"I hope so!"

"What else do you have?"

"Um…" She pushed her finger along the page and cleared her throat. "I need a kinesiology course so I decided to take Tae Kwon Do with Dr. Frank Wyatt." She raised her head and furrowed her brow. "It's one credit hour, so I've got five classes rather than four. Dad had me learn martial arts when I was younger and I enjoyed it a lot, so I want to take it here."

"Sounds like a plan."

"I'm also taking POLS 1333-that's political science. American Government. With Dr. Michael Preda. I've also got Art Appreciation with Catherine Prose."

"A full schedule."

"You think I can do it?"

"I'm sure you can do anything you put your mind to." Besides, these were just the simple core curriculum. The Tae Kwon Do class was one she felt like taking each semester because it seemed enjoyable. "You're very excited for these classes?"

"Very! I want to talk to my dad about them and also about what I'm thinking about doing for a major. I want his input."

"What are your thoughts?"

"Well. I'm really leaning to Criminal Justice." She stepped beside her mentor and leaned back against the car. "You see, I've always looked up to dad and when I was a girl, I wanted to be just like him. I want to talk about criminal justice because he might be able to tell me what I can do with that degree."

"Any other thoughts?"

"Well, I thought about dancing. I'm good with balance but I'm not a great dancer-still I think I could learn. Singing I enjoy, but I don't really want to pursue it. Then there's something in the health field, but I can't really stand some of the things mom deals with."

"Take some time to really decide what you like. You might find that you don't want to go any of those routes." He had a point. She already made the distinction that she'd like to take Tae Kwon Do each semester, so it was something she truly enjoyed.

"I do like athletics."

"My nephew is an athlete. Maybe I'll introduce the two of you one day." She nodded, eager to possibly meet this nephew of his. If anything, he could be somebody to help her find a niche within that area; if athletics was for her.

"I'm a fairly good runner. I did gymnastics briefly as a child-when mom and dad were arguing about whether or not to put me through gymnastics or martial arts." She laughed in recollection and ran her hand across her neck. "I sided with Dad of course and went to martial arts after trying gymnastics for about a year. Mom thought I was going to get hurt by all the boys in martial arts, dad thought I'd be so tough that they'd be scared of me."

"You speak so highly about your family. I remember when you would come by the office, upset over thinking you weren't important to them-yet you certainly sound like you are."

"I think I'm actually starting to realize that I am." She had a long talk with them recently, one that lifted her spirits to the point she may as well have been high on something.

"Dad told me he wasn't ever trying to be absent, he just didn't want anything to happen to us because of his line of work, so he started keeping his distance when he shouldn't have." Trina swept her hair over her shoulders and took a deep breath. "Tori said she wasn't trying to be mean by complaining about me to her friends and that she wouldn't do that as much anymore, but if she had a problem with something I said or did, she would tell me outright."

"That's great news."

"Then Mom." Her gaze dropped and she shook her head from left to right. "We all knew mom was having an affair. Dad was distant so she found attention through Officer Gary, but she said she was going to call it off and try to be there for all of us like she should be. Things are turning around, Mr. Sikowitz. I can feel it."

For the first time in a very long time she felt a sense of hope. Things could only go up from there.

Her purse strap started sliding down her arm so she grabbed it and yanked it back into place while looking over her shoulder. "I should get going. Tori wanted me to tell her everything. She's really excited for me as well."

"Very well. I must be going as well. It was good speaking with you, Miss Vega."

"Bye."

On the way home she had a classic rock station blaring in her car and the top was down so the wind could blow her hair behind her. A strange thought penetrated her mind as she drove, one that she terrified her and couldn't understand why she started to even consider it.

David owned everything; her car, the house, and of course he was paying a good chunk of the funds letting her go to college. What would happen if something happened to him?

She found herself laughing off the random thought because it was all too absurd to think that anything could happen to her father.

As Trina turned onto her home street, she caught a glimpse of something that made her blood run cold. The air was coated in thick black smoke and it felt as hot as the sun, and directly in front of her was a fire that was blazing out of control.

Sirens filled the air, but they were distant and hadn't arrived on the street yet. "What's going on?" Her heart constricted and sweat formed around her neck and above her brows.

The closer she got to the fire the more she realized what house had the problem. Fear and panic settled in as she slammed her shift into park and forced open her door. "No!"

Sitting in her front yard was Jade, covered in soot and hugging her knees to her chest. The girl's long, dark hair was singed and her body was rocking back and forth. Jade was muttering about an explosion of some sort, saying that she'd been standing in the doorway at the time.

Trina raced for the open front door, screaming aloud as she made it into the crumbling home. She moved her arm over her face and bit down on her dress sleeve while peering out at the thick wall of smoke and fire before her.

"Mom? Dad? Tori? Where are you!" A sharp pain shot across her chest and her heart felt as though she'd just taken part in a marathon.

Her eyes dropped down to a pile of rubble where the couch was and she saw a black arm extending from beneath. Along with the arm was the body of a red-haired girl hanging limp halfway from the couch with the lower half beneath the rubble.

"Oh god. No. No, no, no!" She ran for the couch, screaming as the flames licked her legs and arms. She heard a groan nearby and turned her head. She barely made out the figure of Beck stretched out on the ground between the door and couch.

Robbie was clearly visible on the recliner, but half his shirt was ripped into shreds, his hands were clamped on the edges of the armrest and his head had been snapped back over the top of the couch.

Tears welled up in her eyes and she stumbled backwards, whimpering while looking around the room. "Tori?" Her sister had to be nearby. If all of her friends where here in the living room, she had to be where they were.

She made her way through the smoke, waving her hands and coughing as her lungs started to burn. The closer she got to the kitchen, the hotter the air became. Also near the kitchen was her father's office.

"Dad. Daddy!" She looked to his doorway, but in its place she saw only debris and rubble blocking it. Underneath it all, on the hardwood floor, was a river of blood streaming out. Her eyes grew and her knees started to buckle beneath her, forcing her to struggle to remain standing. "Daddy say something!"

She ran for the rubble and started tearing through it, breaking her nails on the hot debris in the process. Tears poured down her face as she imagined the worst. "T-Trina." Her father's cough erupted into her ear and she turned to see him standing near the stairwell. "Trina you need to get out of here."

"Dad? But who's in your study?"

"Your mother…She was getting something." Her heart crashed into her stomach and she cried out in terror. David approached her, holding his side and wincing with each step. "Please. Get out of here. Live…"

She ran to him and put her arm around his waist. "Daddy you're hurt." When her hand reached his hand, she felt a sharp object protruding from his waist. She let out a startled gasp and looked down, some large piece of wood impaled itself into him. "Dad what happened?"

"Someone planted bombs throughout the house." He put an arm around her and tried to guide her towards the door. He looked weak and was drenched in sweat, and every breath he took came out as a wheeze. "Get out of here."

"You'll live Daddy, you'll be okay. Tori. Where's Tori?" David stumbled to the right and visibly winced. He dropped to his knee and Trina fell with him, throwing her arms around his body. "Daddy hang on." Her voice was frantic and laced with concern as her father hunched forward. "Please."

"Your sister was upstairs. I went to check on her, but she wasn't there. Her room…on fire…her window shattered…"

Trina clenched her teeth and helped her father up. Fearing the worst, she started guiding him to the door. "Hang on Dad, we're going to get you out of here." When they left the house and stepped off the porch, she looked in the direction of her sister's room and felt her body go numb.

Tori was on the grass, sprawled out like a doll, and she wore a blanket of broken glass. "Tori!" She ran for the girl but a set of powerful arms grabbed her and pulled her away. "No! Let me get to my sister. Please! She's hurt! My sister!"

Tori's chest was moving, albeit slowly, so she knew the girl was still breathing. All she wanted was to hold her sister.

The fireman holding onto her pulled her further away and someone threw a yellow blanket around her. She continued to struggle, screaming at the top of her lungs, but her pleas fell onto deaf ears.

When she looked to her father, she saw that he had collapsed on the ground and was now pale as a sheet. Her heart stopped and all time seemed to cease except for the paramedics moving his body onto a stretcher.

A shiver ran throughout her body as she watched them roll the stretcher's bedsheet up along his body. When they reached his shoulders, they didn't stop. Once they reached his neck and chin, they didn't stop.

"N-No…No!" They continued to pull the sheet over her father until she could no longer see his head. A feeling of lightheadedness and nausea struck her. This had to be a bad dream. It had to be a terrible dream and she would wake up to find her family still with her.

Unable to stand any longer, she collapsed to the ground and blacked out the instant her head hit the ground.

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So it begins, Trina and Jade will have their struggles obviously. Maybe they can come together and somehow help each other through this, or maybe they will never get past this tragedy. Stick around.


	2. Denial and Anger

Learning to Let Go

Disclaimer: I own nothing

A/N: This idea came to me, something that I think would be interesting to see the characters involved bouncing back from tragedy, or trying to at the very least.

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Chapter 2 (Denial and Anger)

The hospital room was filled with mundane beeps and chatter from nurses and doctors running every which way. Trina sat beside her sister's stretcher with her arms folded neatly over her stomach.

Chills swept across her bare arms and tears stained her swollen red face. Like the others in the emergency room, they were surrounded by a thin yellow curtain that formed a small square.

Now that she saw Tori's body, she'd become gravely concerned. Tori suffered about burns across about eighty percent of her body, suffered broken limbs from her fall out of her bedroom window, and suffered from internal injuries that the doctors spent hours trying to operate.

Tori now lay with wires sticking into her body, from either the IV or the life monitor that was sustaining her.

Trina had been playing the horrific scene on repeat in her head, trying to figure out what went wrong. All she could think about was how determined her father was to get her out of the burning home and how he collapsed once she was safe.

"He was supposed to be invincible." She looked up and closed her eyes when she felt a firm hand on her shoulder. It was Mr. Sikowitz, coming to check on her. "When I was a little girl, I'd always say…my daddy was invincible. Nothing would ever hurt him and he'd always be here for us."

"I am…so sorry." She bowed her head and choked up a sob. "I wish I could say something more, anything more." The nurses had been grieving as well; they all worked with Holly, so they were friends with her. So she heard 'sorry' from them as well while others talked about what kind of person her mother was.

Trina reached to her sister, placing her hand on top of Tori's. "The doctors say she's alive but unresponsive. They don't know when she'll wake up, if she does."

Tori was all she had to hold onto now. She pulled her hand back and brought it to her mouth, weeping softly.

Sikowitz's pat her shoulder and looked at Tori with a somber expression. "She did her best in class. She was a brilliant student and she did care about you. Remember that."

"She's not dead yet. She's just…she's just sleeping…" Sikowitz frowned and pulled his hand from her shoulder as she reached for Tori's hand once more, squeezing it tightly as though the gesture would wake her sister up.

"Sleeping. I suppose she is. I was told Mr. Oliver is much the same. Miss West was on her way out and saying goodbye to her boyfriend when it happened."

"You spoke with her?"

"I have. She's as shaken as you are, which is expected." Sikowitz leaned against the corner bedpost at the foot of the bed and crossed his arms. "They're saying it was a homicide."

 _Someone planted bombs throughout the house._

Her muscles tensed and she closed her eyelids, weeping as several crease lines stretched across her forehead and around her eyes. "Daddy said that to me. Someone planted bombs. He…He had a part of the table…" She breathed in suddenly and saliva spewed from her lips. "A part of the table shot into him. He went upstairs to check on Tori, he said."

Trina overheard the fire marshal say something about a flash bang in Tori's room. She knew what this meant, and understood the reason for the severe burns on her sister's body.

Tori must have survived the initial explosion and wound up trapped in her room. She may have tried to escape by breaking open her window, and the sudden oxygen entering the pressurized room caused an explosion that threw her out the window when she was attempting to climb out.

The fact that it was a murder, the fact that her entire family were targets, it all made the entire matter worse. She knew she should have been there with them, that she should be dead as well.

Her fingers rose to her eyes and she rubbed them, sobbing more but unable to cry more tears. Her eyelids were raw and a great pain had encompassed her eyes. "I should have been there. I…I wasn't going to go to the college because Tori wasn't, but I was so-so happy." Sikowitz walked over to her and pat her back. She leaned into him, setting her head on his hip and grabbing his shirt in her hands. "I should have been home."

"But you're here."

"I don't even know what's going on right now." Her hands tightened around his shirt and her wails increased. Sikowitz raised his head and continued to pat her on the back while looking around.

She knew this was an odd situation for him, that anyone would question that a teacher his age should be here comforting a student physically. She didn't care; this man was like a father to her and had been for years, so this was normal for her.

"Trina." Sikowitz breathed in and let out a sharp exhale. "Do you have family to stay with? You need to be somewhere."

"I could live on the street for all I care right now."

"Well. You can't do that." Sikowitz chuckled once and Trina looked up at him, pursing her lips and furrowing her brow. She didn't have any family now. All her grandparents passed years ago, and while both of her parents had at least one sibling, those siblings were so far out of her life that she'd not seen them since she was in grade school.

"I don't have anyone."

"I was afraid of that." Sikowitz raised his hand to his beard and his eyes slid towards Tori. His shoulders fell and his eyelids closed down. "Well we can't have you living on the street or in the slums. Perhaps until you get on your feet, I will be happy to give you the guest room."

Her heart rose and the corners of her mouth sank into her cheeks. She wasn't sure whether to be happy or not. Still the only thing on her mind was her family, but she knew she would have to find a place to live regardless.

"I thought your nephew was staying with you now?" She wiped her tears with the sleeve of her dress and cleared her throat.

"He is. I have a three bedroom home. My mother passed a year ago, I was looking after her, so Jason has her old room. The third room is the guest room, it is on the first floor."

"Would it be okay?"

Sikowitz dropped his hand with a grunt and shrugged. "I am sure it isn't ethical, but given the circumstances…I think ethics matters little."

If anything, the fact that his nephew was there might make the situation look better. She didn't care what people said, he was her mentor and she was grateful for the offer.

"I don't know where I'm going to go or what I'm going to do. I can barely think right now." She looked at her sister and felt the sharp pang of emptiness inside her stomach. "This can't be real. This can't be happening."

She leaned her head back and tried to picture how it could be that Tori was upstairs in the first place. "Her friends were over. Why was she even in her room?"

"Jade told me she'd gone upstairs to grab a board game." Sikowitz crossed his arms and sighed. "Miss West was feeling tired as well as sick, so she was leaving to go home so she could take a nap. She was partway out the door when it happened, and she suffered from some burns on her back, I believe."

"Oh." Jade survived by some miracle, but she didn't honestly know how to feel about it. "I just lost my entire family…she was there and she lived. I-I suppose I'm okay with that, I don't know. I just…"

"It is a lot to take in. Perhaps it would be better for you to get some rest."

"That won't do anything."

"No, it won't change what's happened, but you won't be exhausted and sitting here crying won't change anything either." She looked up at him with a sad smile and saw a glaze in his eyes that reflected the light of the hospital.

"You're crying, Mr. Sikowitz."

"Yes." He turned away and raised his hand over his eyes, rubbing them with a circular motion. "Take as much time as you need here, I will be right outside. Let me know when you wish to leave and I will drive you out."

"Thank you."

After staring blankly at her sister for what felt like an eternity, Trina finally found the strength to leave. The drive to Sikowitz's home was quiet, but if he spoke, she didn't hear him.

Trina played through the memories of her family, still unable to comprehend that they were gone-that these memories of them were all that she'd ever have left.

Even her home was gone-her car may as well be gone too since her father was the one that owned it and made payments on it. She hardly cared about that now.

When at her mentor's home, she fell onto the couch and continued to stare blankly into space. She wanted to hear her sister's voice, she wanted to hear the girl's friends laughing about some random nonsense.

She prayed for her father to come in and make a crack about his long day at work.

Trina's hand moved to her stomach where she felt it tightening, and a sob trembled from her lips as her chest began to shake. "This isn't happening. This can't be happening. It's impossible."

A large mug appeared in her view and she jerked back, focusing her eyes on the cup. It was brown and had ridges like rings going down from the top. Inside was a clear broth and steam that rose to warm her face. "What's this?"

"Soup for the soul," Sikowitz replied. She wrapped her fingers around the mug and brought it to her trembling lips. "My nephew is out tonight. He's around your age, maybe a year or two older. It might be good having someone close to your age to talk too, so I hope you will."

"Sure…" She closed her eyes and leaned her head back while tilting the mug to taste of the soup. In the back of her mind she was almost certain she heard her father's voice.

Trina jerked her head back and looked over her shoulder, gasping as her eyes darted frantically around the room. When she saw no one, she let her shoulders and body sink and placed the mug carefully in her lap.

"I'm not really hungry, Mr. Sikowitz."

His lips tightened together and he sat down on the sofa. "I know." He placed a concerned arm around her shoulders and looked towards the sky, breathing in sharply. "I know you're not, but you must try to eat something. Or drink it. Little by little."

"I can't. I just-" She held her breath thinking once again about Tori. "She has to wake up, right? She's going to be fine."

Sikowitz pulled his arm away and reached for the mug, but her fingers were clamped so tight that it wasn't going to be moved from her grasp. "Trina, I hate to say it right now, but you know the doctors-"

"I don't care what the doctors say." She snapped her voice, raising it up with anger. A sad smile grew on his face and he replied with a solemn nod. "Tori will be fine…and I haven't seen dad, maybe he's still…"

"Trina."

"He was alive when we left the house. Daddy wanted to get me out, he was so concerned." She remembered seeing the paramedics pulling the sheet over his face, but she didn't want to believe what she knew that meant. "Then Momma. Momma wasn't-"

She stopped suddenly, releasing frantic breaths. It could have been anyone's blood coming from that study. Even though David told her Holly went in there to grab something, why couldn't that mean he was wrong?

"They said eight people were in that house and there was only one-"

"No. No you can't tell me that." Trina set the mug on the table beside the couch and stood up. "You can't tell me Tori won't wake up, you can't tell me they're all really gone. I-I don't want to…I can't believe it."

"I know." His eyes softened and he shook his head. "I can't imagine what you must be feeling right now, and I know it's hard to think about all of this. I'm here for you, okay? Jason will be as well, though I haven't told him much about what's going on out of respect for you. You can tell him if you wish."

"I…I think I need to be alone right now."

Sikowitz stood up and motioned to a door beside his kitchen area. "The guest room is right down there. Make yourself comfortable."

"Thank you." She left the couch and walked down the hall, passing by the bathroom.

The guest room was brightly lit from the window. There was a bed a few feet from the window, the crème bed sheets matched the curtains on the window and the paint on the walls. The head of the bed was against the wall, with its left side facing the window, and five feet from the foot of the bed was a vanity dresser.

Against the window was a desk and chair.

Trina made her way to the window and with a huff, shut the curtains, darkening the room. She threw herself onto the bed and folded her forearms on the pillow while laying her head against them.

Trina turned her eyes towards a closet door on the right side of the bed. She stared without any thoughts and focused on her every shallow breath. She was going to attempt to sleep tonight, but she felt sleep may not come for her.

Every muscle in her body was numb, her face itched and was red from constant rubbing, and she could hear her heartbeat echoing in the room.

"I should have died with them…I didn't have to go to the campus without Tori." It was Tori who insisted she go ahead without her. "Why am I still here?"

* * *

Well there's no doubt she is going to have a rough time. What are your thoughts on this chapter? Is it a good thing she's got someone there for her at least? Do you think Sikowitz, and maybe even his nephew will be able to help her get back on her feet? And Jade's still out there dealing with the loss of her friend and her lover is in the same state as Tori. There's a reason comatose people waking up are considered miracles...Do you think Tori and Beck will wake up?


	3. Transformation

Learning to Let Go

Disclaimer: I own nothing

A/N: London is great. While on the train from Nottingham, I got this chapter finished. I hope you enjoy it. Fanfic-Reader, do let me know what you think, this chapter is going to show you just how deep the rabbit hole may wind up going. A glimpse my friends, this story will get dark. Darker than most of my non-horror tales, and this one isn't a horror tale by any means

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Chapter 3 (Transformations)

Trina hissed as the sun struck her eyelids and drew her from the bed to shut the curtains. Her hair was in a frizzled mess, and her clothes were wrinkled from constant tossing and turning throughout the night. She had large bags beneath her red eyelids, and her cheeks had been so rubbed raw that the slightest touch could tear away the skin.

She touched her fingers to her chapped lips and shut her eyes. Her nostrils opened and her shoulders rose while her head shook. Her stomach had a terrible hunger, but she didn't care to eat.

"Still in Mr. Sikowitz's bedroom, it still isn't a dream." She opened her eyes and looked towards the sky. "Why? Why can't it be? I'd do anything to have them." She moved her hands to her stomach and flattened them over each other. "For it all to be a nightmare, to take their place. I'd do anything."

This cruel joke had to end at some point-there wasn't any reason for her to still be here and all of them to be gone.

Trina pushed her feet into a pair of slippers Sikowitz brought her earlier. They were pink, thin, and bigger than her feet. "I didn't know his mother was that tall…" She walked towards the bedroom door with her shoulders slouched and her back hunched forward. Frown lines curved around her mouth and lines stretched out from the corners of her eyes.

She curled her lips back and grit her teeth, glaring at the strands of hair falling before her face.

When she walked down the hallway she could smell bacon and eggs. Her tongue moved along her lips and her stomach let out a vicious roar. Her left hand curled over her stomach and she placed her right hand on the frame of the archway.

Trina leaned forward, poking her head around the corner. Standing at the stove was a tall, young man with short trimmed brown hair spiked up in the front. His broad shoulders and muscular arms were covered by an elbow length t-shirt and denim jeans that hung loosely above his heels.

"You must be Jason." She hadn't seen him before. The man turned his head and his sharp brown eyes widened for a split second.

"And you must be Trina." His gaze fixated on her and he turned fully, raising his shoulders and letting his chest expand as he breathed in deep. "Your family." He furrowed his brow and shook his head. "There's nothing at all that I could say."

She approached the kitchen, still curious why he said nothing about her appearance, although she didn't care. He was attractive, she could see that much, and normally she didn't like to look as she did in front of anybody-much less an attractive man-but now she couldn't think anything of such things.

"You must be hungry."

Her eyes fell to the skillet on the stove and she dropped her hand from her stomach. "I'm not." Jason pressed his lips together and shot her a skeptical look. Trina crossed her arms, shrugged, and looked away from him. "What?"

"Uncle said you might turn down food. You haven't slept at all either, but I can understand that. Still, you should try to eat."

She rolled her eyes and scowled at him. "What do you care?" Trina walked towards the table, muttering under her breath. Everything she ever knew, all that she ever believed in was gone. "I have nothing left, so if you're going to tell me I should care about myself, save it."

"I won't say that." Jason slid the fried eggs onto a plate and topped them with three strips of bacon. Trina watched him closely, leaning back as he set the plate down in front of her. "You can eat or not, it's up to you." Trina raised an eyebrow at him and hummed as Jason turned to leave. He stopped and glanced back at her. "I hope you do. If not for yourself, then try to keep your strength up for your sister whenever she wakes up."

"You think she'll wake up?"

"I don't know for certain. No one does." Her eyes dropped down to her plate and her lips pursed. "But you just said you have nothing left to hope for, hope she wakes, and if she does…she'll want you at your best, right?"

"I don't even know that I have a best anymore." She carefully picked up the fork on the plate and wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her top. It was obvious what he was trying to do; he had to believe the same as Sikowitz that Tori wouldn't live and she was just going to have to find a way to move on.

She couldn't accept that. Not under any circumstances would she accept that.

Meanwhile in the hospital, Jade West clung to her boyfriend's still hand and wept into it as flashes of the horrific incident plagued her mind. "This can't be," she said with a trembling breath. A sob caught in her throat and tears glistened as they left a trail of mascara on her cheeks. "It can't be happening."

One moment he'd been standing before her, holding and kissing her goodbye as she left to get some sleep, and then the bombs went off. They were like fireworks, and at first they registered as gunfire in her mind. She hardly recognized the explosions hitting her, but had felt the ground shaking for a second before her body was flung like a ragdoll onto the front lawn outside.

Thankfully the door being partially closed saved her from greater damage, she'd come out only with a few bruises.

No screams registered in her brain, just the sound of a terrible ringing in her ears. By the time the alarms in her ears ceased, the only sound was the crackling of fire as though it were a campfire eating away at firewood.

Smoke billowed from the doorway with only blackness within as though one were looking into the lungs of a smoker exhaling.

For Jade it was too hot to go back in, and every inch of her body throbbed from a dull ache. Fearing the worst, she hugged herself and tried pretending the nightmare was not actually taking place, much in vain.

Since arriving at the hospital with Beck, she'd not left for a moment. Doctors told her they were uncertain that Beck would survive-much in the same way they were uncertain about Tori's fate.

Even his mother, whom she never got along with, tried to force Jade away as though ignoring the trauma she was already struggling with. Beck's father was able to calm the woman down since he and Jade had always gotten along.

"I can't lose you too," Jade muttered while raising her head away from his hand. Robbie, Cat, Andre and Tori had all planned to do something else that night. She insisted they hang together because she was bored, she hadn't spent much time with them recently so she insisted and they all reluctantly cancelled their own plans. "I'm so…so sorry."

Jade knew she should have died with them. The only reason she was leaving was because she had begun feeling unwell and apologized for leaving them when she was the one that insisted on their spending time together.

Her own parents had come to the hospital to pick her up at one point, and both had been beside themselves in grief and fear that she might have been included in the victims. When they expressed relief over her survival, she snapped at them and screamed about their lack of concern for the others.

It wasn't the truth, she knew they cared, but it was the guilt and the anger that made her this way. "The others are gone," she whispered while sliding her fingers across Beck's forehead. "All of them. It's my own fault, I-I should never have insisted everyone cancel their plans for me."

She ran her hands across her red eyes, wincing as the skin burned from her touch. "Oh Beck…" The other parents came by to see them, and though they didn't say anything, she could tell from the looks in their eyes that they blamed her. They accused her of still being alive yet all of their children were dead.

Jade felt too much trauma to act out in the anger she had towards them for their accusations or the anger she had towards herself.

Her stomach growled and she dropped her hand to her abdomen. "I haven't eaten since I got here." She turned her weary gaze towards the door and groaned as the rumbling sensation in her stomach grew more intense.

Even in all of this terror, the sensation of hunger was still present though all of time may have ceased. Jade took one fleeting glimpse at her boyfriend and slowly stood on shaky legs. "I'll only be a moment, Beck."

The hospital lights disoriented her when she stepped out, causing her to look around in a drunken attempt to locate a vending machine. She made her approach on one at the end of a long network of corridors, making a visual notation of everything that stood out to her so she could find her way back.

Near the vending machine was a door with two nurses talking outside about a patient that had just died within. She tightened her grip on the bag of chocolate donuts in her hand and her heart began to sink.

One of the nurses raised her eyes to her and her expression grew sour. "Oh it's that girl," the nurse said with a scowl. Jade blinked twice and curled her eyebrows together. "The one that got Beth fired."

The other nurse shook her head and grabbed the woman's arm as though to pull her away. Jade watched the pair depart, but for some reason she couldn't scream back at them for their judgment, she only felt a deeper wound from the stabbing words.

"People still remember that?" She looked away with a sigh, thinking back to how she broke into the nurses station just to steal the blood being drawn from Tori so that Tori wouldn't be able to get the lead in some play. "It seems so trivial now. I-I…"

Jade turned and caught a glimpse of a boy seated nearby. He was about her age and had jet black hair pulled into a small ponytail and had long bangs sweeping over his forehead.

What caught her attention was that his eyes were closed and he was seated on the ground with his legs crossed. His hands rested in his lap, with the back of his right hand being cradled in the palm of his left.

"Meditating? In a hospital?" She spoke her words aloud, expecting them only to fade away in the silence.

The man leaned his head to the right and parted his lips. His chest and shoulders moved down slowly. "Meditation helps control the emotions in a chaotic world." Jade jerked her head back, startled by the response. "I am praying for my sister, so that her soul may travel to the next world safely."

She rolled her eyes and opened her mouth, but held back the complaint she was prepared to issue. This was a hospital, death was all around them, and she'd just lost every friend she had. If someone were to insult her method of grieving over them, she'd be even worse off than she already felt.

"I'm sorry."

The man opened his eyes, they were narrow and piercing like that of a dragon, but they also had a calmness to them that seemed inviting. "You look to have suffered a terrible loss."

Feeling somewhat defeated, Jade sat down beside him and pushed her back against the wall. "My friends were killed, one of them and my boyfriend are in a coma. The one that's in a coma, she lost her entire family…"

"What are their names?"

She swept her finger beneath her eyes and breathed in deep. "Andre, Robbie, Cat. Mr. and Mrs. Vega…My boyfriend, Beck, and my friend Tori are the ones in a coma." She didn't know why she was able to talk to this person about them, but there was something comforting in his demeanor, something that enabled her to trust him. "I-I'm still struggling to believe they're gone."

"You're angry as well."

"Obviously. I…I think I don't know how to react." She buried her face in her trembling hands, frustrated that she was unable to shed anymore tears. "I think I was screaming all night, begging for Beck to wake up. Begging for my friends to walk through that door…begging for them to just-"

Suddenly she felt a hand on her wrist and raised her head, watching as he lowered her hand. "I understand. Take a breath and close your eyes." She raised an eyebrow and watched him return to his prior stance.

He started to whisper, but it was in a language she didn't understand. Not wishing to interrupt, she closed her eyes and mimicked his posture for the sake of simply having something to do.

As she focused on whatever it was he was saying, she could feel a strange sense of calm coming over her like a wave and relaxing her muscles. The dull pain in her body subsided, if only for a moment, and she willed herself to take a deep breath and to hold it.

She recognized the names of her friends when he spoke of them, and she could picture them in her mind-all laughing and talking like they used to.

A single tear ran down the side of her face, leaving a cold trail behind it. Her lips curled into a gentle smile and she listened as the man began to speak in English.

"May all beings everywhere plagued with sufferings of body and mind quickly be freed from illnesses. May those frightened cease to be afraid, and may those bound be free."

Her held breath rolled away from briskly parted lips, and a crease stretched over her forehead.

He rounded off the prayer and she opened her eyes, still feeling that strange sense of calm that surrounded her. "Buddhist? You practice Buddhism?" The boy smiled faintly and nodded.

"Yes. I have said a prayer that those lost will leave this world with a clear mind, that they will pass from this life to the next with little trouble."

"You think they'd have another life?"

"The Buddhist believes in rebirth and reincarnation. We're all a part of a wheel of life that is constantly turning." The boy stood up slowly and dusted off his pants. "But even then, meditation by itself is about peace and calmness, finding yourself in a chaotic world and maintaining control of your identity."

"I don't know about all that." She pulled herself up and shook herself. "I do feel a little bit better. It still hurts."

"It will always hurt, but you can heal."

"Why am I still here?" She crossed her arms and dropped her gaze to the ground. "I shouldn't even be here. I-I should be dead, with them."

"I'm told that we survive because we still have purpose to instill, we still have something we are meant to do." Jade raised her eyebrows, curious as to what that meant. It seemed simple enough, but she couldn't be sure. "Maybe you survive because you are meant to guide someone else, or maybe you survive because you will go on to do something important in this life."

"I'm not that important. How do I even know what this 'purpose' is you're talking about?"

"That is why we-people-meditate. You do not have to be Buddhist to do so, but in doing so, you can clear your mind and find peace. You can find identity and purpose." He spread his hands out and chuckled. "To name a few things."

It did feel good, or at least, better than the hell she was always in. "Could you show me?" She leaned back and quickly cleared her throat. "My name is Jade, by the way. Jade West."

"Good to meet you, I'm Ken." Ken turned to walk into the room the nurses had been standing in front of before. She followed him and gasped softly at the young girl in the hospital bed.

The nearby hospital monitor was making a flat and monotonous sound, and the girl was motionless. Jade watched Ken take the child's hand in his, gripping it firmly. He closed his eyes and moved his left hand over his right.

His body trembled for several seconds, and then stopped. His eyes opened partially and left a lingering gaze onto the child. "We all grieve in different ways, Jade. Death is a part of life, an end of life and it begins the journey into the next. It doesn't change that those of us left behind have lost someone, and we are left to grieve. It is how we handle our grief that matters a great deal."

"You're not angry? You've lost your sister."

"Who is there to blame for this death? Even if we could find somebody responsible, it would never bring them back. How would you honor their memory, to cherish their life, by damaging yourself with self-destructive emotions or actions?"

Jade remained silent. She'd never thought about it in such a way. Yes, there was someone responsible for the explosions, and to her understanding the police were trying to find the person responsible, but maybe Ken was right. Her friends were gone, and they were never coming back no matter what happened.

"So I shouldn't waste my time being angry?"

"Be angry, but don't let it rule you. Grieve, but don't let it control you. Have control over your emotions."

"It's hard to accept that they're gone. I-I don't know if I can."

Ken smiled at her and placed a gentle yet firm hand on her shoulder. "You can, but with time. I'm going to meditate some more, you're free to join." He moved past her and she watched him depart.

She took one last look at his sibling in the bed, felt her heart clench with pain, and followed after him.

Back at Sikowitz's home, Trina held up a long black dress that used to belong to Mr. Sikowitz's mother. "It's my size," she said wistfully. He told her to go ahead and wear some of the woman's clothes left behind-any that fit or that she found satisfactory while waiting to actually get some clothes of her own since all of hers perished in the fire.

In addition to the clothes she found, Trina also found some dark mascara and eyeshadow, dark lipstick. There was also hair-dye that the woman used to keep from getting grey hair-and it was a black dye.

She felt it was appropriate to wear black during her mourning, though when Mr. Sikowitz saw all she'd gathered, he was visibly surprised.

"It fits my mood."

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I wanted to ensure both girls don't go down the same path as they grieve and yes you see right what will happen. Or a glimpse. Jade, the one you would think to become angrier has found someone who may help her keep that in check while Trina is going to go down a much darker path. Perhaps the answer to Jade's question is that she survived to help Trina find her way back to earth? Jade herself is by no means near accepting the tragedy either, but she may have an easier time than Trina


	4. The Funeral

Learning to Let Go

Disclaimer: I own nothing

A/N:

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Chapter 4 (Funeral)

The commotion of people attending the funeral left Trina with a foul taste on the tongue as she fought back the storm of tears in order to keep her mascara from running.

The church pews were full from the front to the back, and she didn't think half of the people there knew her parents at all. It was disturbing to see so many people that had no connection all appearing like they were the closest of friends.

Trina was in the front, right pew with Sikowitz and Jason on either side of her. They were there for support even though they didn't know her parents as well, although Sikowitz knew them essentially in passing and had spoken with them on various occasions. David trusted the man, and he would have had to in order to let his children spend as much time as they did with him.

With a subtle breath, she leaned forward and moved her purse from her lap and down between her black heels. Her hands folded onto her lap and the air in her lungs caught in her throat. She straightened her posture and looked to the two caskets before her.

"Closed," she muttered spitefully. They resembled two gold bars painted brown and pushed together, and the only thing designating ownership were the framed photos of her parents seated in the center as though centerpieces of a dining table. The caskets were adorned with floral decorations and letters from guests.

On the other side of the room she saw her father's former friend and colleague, Officer Gary Malone. The sight of him at the funeral was enough to fill her with such disgust and anger that she found it difficult to remain still.

When he looked at her, he flashed an apologetic smile, but she shot back with a scornful expression and shuffled uncomfortably in her seat. She sank down from view between Jason and Sikowitz.

"What is the matter?" She heard her mentor say. Her body moved upwards and she jutted out her chest while pointing across the way to Gary. Sikowitz's gaze moved along with her gesture and his face sank. "Oh."

"That man shouldn't be here." Sikowitz and Jason turned their heads and then looked back to her as she dropped her arm. "He was Dad's friend, but mom was cheating on Dad with him. He has no right to be here."

"There isn't anything to be done now. I'm sorry he did that…" Sikowitz set his hand on her shoulder, it was a gentle and comforting gesture, but it didn't take away from the animosity she felt. Try to ignore him the best you can. Right now, there just isn't anything we can do, I'm afraid."

"Can't make him leave," Jason added in a soft voice. She dropped her gaze to her hands, folding her fingers into her palms. "It would only make us appear worse if we tried."

Trina crossed her arms and shifted again between them. "I know." A vicious huff rolled away from her lips. "Half of these people didn't even know mom and dad." Jason hummed softly and brought his hand to his chin, tapping it with his forefinger.

"Well, your mom was a registered nurse and your dad was a high ranked and respected police officer. It could be that some of these people were impacted by them in one way or another." She furrowed her brow and turned her gaze over her shoulder, studying each guest in silence.

Several of them were wiping their eyes or focusing on those nearest to them, and many appeared to genuinely grieve. Trina hadn't considered such a possibility that her parents impacted these people at all, but the more she thought about it, the more she figured Jason was right.

Jason pointed past her, letting a sigh fall from his lips. "Patients, victims of families your dad might have helped…there's really no telling how many lives they've affected."

The rigidity in her muscles subsided 'and her shoulders fell like a landslide. "I guess." Jason smiled at her and gently pat her on the back.

"Don't worry so much about anyone else, alright?"

"I'm not." She flung her hair back and cleared her throat as tears welled up beneath her eyelids. "I just…I just-" She let out a sudden gasp and moved her hand over her mouth. Her chest ached as the tears continued to burn her cheeks. "I'm trying not to cry. My eyes hurt already, they haven't stopped hurting."

"I know." She set her head onto his shoulder, using it as though it were a tower for which she could dry her tears. Jason smacked his lips and Sikowitz looked over with a sad smile as Trina moved a bit closer to Jason. "It's going to be okay, Trina."

"No. No it won't."

She moved her arms around his, clinging tight to it as a violent tremble ran through her body. She gasped out, embarrassed by the way she was acting, and raised her head up to glance at him.

Jason's face looked soft from the glow of the lights bathing him. His features appeared incredibly relaxed and his gentle eyes carefully moved over to focus on her.

"Jason I-I don't mean to latch onto you, I mean I don't-" Whatever she meant, she couldn't muster up the words to express her feelings accurately. His head leaned to the right and his lips pursed a bit.

Here she was, crying on this man's shoulder as though they were extremely close, and she'd only just met him. There was a good chance this man might not appreciate it, even though she was as emotional as she was.

Trina bowed her head and dropped her hand on top of Jason's forearm. "I don't mean to make you uncomfortable by leaning on you, I mean."

His shoulders and chest rose slowly, then dropped as a swift breath escaped his tender lips. "You're fine. I understand completely." Her heart rose a bit as his mouth grew into a handsome smile which caused the heat to rush to her cheeks. "I'm here for you. So is Uncle Erwin."

"Thank you." Trina set her head back on his shoulder and watched the pastor move away from a nearby door. She sniffled and shut her eyes, groaning at the heavy feeling on the front of her cheeks. "My mascara's running, I think."

Jason chuckled and a tissue soon entered her view. She accepted it gratefully and wiped away the mixture of tears and mascara.

"Ladies and gentlemen," the pastor began upon reaching the podium. "We are gathered here today to honor the memory of two upstanding citizens taken from us too soon." She choked on her breath and crumpled the tissue up between her fingers.

The minister twisted partially and gazed upon the caskets with a forlorn expression. "Captain David Vega and his beloved wife, Holly, were violently murdered in their home." The man took a deep breath and started to shake his head. "Let us kbegin with prayer, that they may be peacefully guided into the Lord's arms this morning."

He turned around and gripped the edges of the podium with his fingers. "Please. Bow your heads with me."

As the congregation did so, Trina kept her eyes open and looked hastily towards Officer Malone where she felt her breath turn shallow.

Gary's shoulders twitched and flattened while his jaw grew tight and locked in place. His eyes narrowed and appeared to pierce the preacher like a sword as the man spoke.

A knotting sensation overtook Trina's stomach and she forced herself to swallow the nauseating choke rising along her esophagus. The lighting of the room focused away from Gary and caused the shadows to be cast upon him, giving the appearance of a darkening aura permeating from his skin.

Gary's eyes slid around like a snake's to the corners of the sockets, looking to her as if he were aware that she was staring at him.

She tensed and her hand tightened around Jason's forearm. The rigidity in her muscles increased, causing a sharp pain to shoot through her body.

His tight-lipped glare seemed like poison which threatened to corrode and melt her on the very spot. She could feel her skin beginning to curl, with every inch of her body burning until she was distracted by a sudden movement in Jason's arm.

She loosened her grip and saw Jason turn his gaze towards Gary. Almost instantly, Gary turned his mouth into a sorrowful smile, and joy lines started to extend from the corners of the man's eyes.

Trina furrowed her brow and straightened her posture once again, trying to ignore Gary the best she could. Her eyes flickered to Jason and she spoke with a whispered rasp in her voice. "I'm sorry, Jason."

"Is he making you uncomfortable?" Jason raised an eyebrow and Trina shook her head, not wishing to trouble him with her emotions. The skeptical look remained on his face and he looked up with a hum. "Okay. I don't mind switching seats with you if you want me to."

"I'm fine." She relaxed and shut her eyes. Soon the preacher's voice began to fade like an echo in the wind, and it was replaced by the familiar laughter of her parents that seemed to enchant her and draw her into a trance.

Trina visualized them on a much happier day, smiling as she saw them setting dinner up at the table. "Come down and eat, girls," Holly called while cupping her hands around her mouth. David put a hand on his wife's lower back and looked to the stairs with a proud smile.

Tori and Trina raced down the steps with Tori just a few small steps ahead of her sister. "Remember it's your turn to do the dishes," Tori chimed happily. Trina laughed as her sister spun around and hopped backwards from the stairs. "I have to clean the table and countertops, so I'll do that so you can do the dishes."

There came a sudden clap which jolted Trina back into reality. She frowned at the vanishing memory and her eyes focused with dismay on the minister's closed hands. "Is there anyone who would like to say a few words?"

"I would." Trina's blood ran cold and her eyes shot over to Gary. The man was standing and raising his hand up. She balled up her fists and glared with widening eyes. "David was my closest friend, it would be an honor to speak…"

As he approached the podium, Trina had to bite down on her tongue and clench her teeth so that she wouldn't complain. She wanted to scream, to shout that he didn't deserve to speak at her parents' funeral.

"Take it easy," Jason whispered to her. She tried to settle her mood, to remain as calm as possible, no matter how difficult this was.

Gary stood like a politician at the podium, ready to gloss a gullible audience with empty words. His eyes were misty and his fingers seemed glued to the edges of the stand. "We go back a long way, Dave and I do. I can't think of a single moment we weren't together growing up."

He placed a trembling hand over his mouth and closed his eyes. "I would have followed him into a dark alley, I would." Trina rolled her eyes and averted contact with the man's shifty gaze. The bile which swirled about her stomach threatened to explode from her mouth and she had to place a hand over her abdomen and fight down a groan. "We played baseball together in college, he usually pitched and I was the batter. If you think in terms of athleticism, that would make me the muscle, but in our friendship he was always the muscle."

Trina leaned sideways, muttering and growling under her breath. "Talk about why you slept with his wife, yeah, I want to hear about that." She felt a sharp nudge in her side and glanced over to see Sikowitz raising a finger to his lips. Her shoulders fell and she dropped her head.

"You know." Gary moved a hand to his chest and closed his eyebrows together. "He truly loved his family. They were all he ever talked about when we were together. He became paranoid when we joined the force, and when he told me he would do anything to protect them, I helped him go through every inch of his house to carefully place any surveillance cameras and alarms to trigger if a burglar came in."

Trina rolled her head sideways, humming to consider his words. Her father had been paranoid, that was true. Fortunately they never had an issue with anyone breaking into the house before.

Gary folded his hands over his nose and face, trembling with grief. "I-I know he didn't care to show it, his greatest fear was losing them. He was terrified some stranger or someone he arrested might come after them and take them away. Now exactly that seems to have happened…"

He slid his hands away from his face, blowing them away with an exhale. "I swear." He pounded his hand on the podium and Trina flinched. "I swear we will find the persons responsible." His eyes fell onto Trina and she started to tense. "Miss Vega, you have my word. This crime will not go unpunished."

She looked away, feeling a sting of pain striking at her heart. A thick sensation formed in her throat, strangling her more with each passing second.

A hand touched to her wrist and she quickly glanced up at Jason, relaxing slowly as his warm gaze bathed her. Her hand pulled up to her chest where her fingers curled over her shirt collar. The thickness in her throat went away, leaving only the taste of burning anger in its place.

She hated Gary with every fiber of her being. He used to be like an uncle to her and to Tori, and he was always present for the holidays, but that changed the minute she discovered the truth about him.

"He shouldn't be up there," she said firmly to Jason, "It's an insult to my dad." She wasn't sure what she wanted to happen, especially since there wasn't anything anybody could do. Certainly, she didn't expect Jason to be able to do anything.

He smiled sadly and let her lean into him where he could hug her shoulders. For as cold as she felt, his hold was warm and inviting, soothing her nerves.

After the service and in the cemetery, however, she couldn't stop glaring at Gary with each moment that passed. Even as they lowered her father's casket into the ground, she focused all her rage onto Gary.

When most of the guests departed, she took off as though defending her father's lost honor. "How dare you!" She screamed and lunged for his throat with arms and hands outstretched. Gary's eyes grew large and he focused on the spot, stammering as she closed the gap between them.

"Trina, I-"

"You have no right!" Just before reaching him she felt a pair of powerful arms slide under hers and rise up to lock her in place. She squirmed as shock washed over her. "No, Jason let me go!" She growled and continued struggling, cursing Jason under her breath.

Gary put his hand to his chest and watched her struggle. She gnashed her teeth and shook her fists. "You have no right to talk about your 'loyalty' to my Dad. You went behind his back-you slept with his wife, with my mother. You have no right!"

"Trina," Jason spoke her name firmly as though it would cause this rage to cease. She screamed out again and kicked him in the shin, causing him to flinch and let out a loud grunt.

Surprisingly his hold on her didn't loosen, which caused her to relax for a bit and turn her head. She couldn't help but wonder how he could be that strong, but then, it wasn't the most important matter.

Jason leaned towards her, whispering a melody into her ear. "I know you're angry and hurting, but this isn't the right time for this. This won't make anything better."

She grit her teeth and her eyes flew into Gary's. "I don't care." She felt his arms loosen and took the opportunity to pull away just before he could tense back up. Trina spun around, glaring at Jason and pointing furiously at Gary. "He had no right, Jason."

She breathed in suddenly and watched Jason open his mouth to speak, but Gary cut him off. "I made a mistake." Trina dropped her arm and Jason cast an annoyed glance onto the man. "That doesn't mean I didn't care for your parents, Trina. I cared very deeply for them." She flared her nostrils and kept her back pointed at him, fearing that she might strike him if she turned.

"I was your father's best friend, and my words are sincere when I say I will not rest until I find the murderer responsible."

She glanced into Jason's eyes and a subtle whine drew from her lips. Jason's eyes were focused on her and filled with concern. His lips were parted barely and his eyebrows seemed to push a wrinkle up between them.

He crossed his arms and closed his lips, continuing to gaze at her as Gary continued to speak. "I know you're upset with me." The man breathed out and Trina shut her eyes. Her chest heaved and her clenched fists began shaking. "But Trina, please, you must understand that I-"

Just then Jason cut him off, startling her. "I think that's enough." Her eyes shot open and she watched Jason extend a raised hand at Gary. A serious expression came over his face while his voice grew firm. "I think it would be best if you left, Officer Malone. For everyone."

Gary stammered for a second, then left without a further word. Trina held her breath as surprise swept over her. She watched Gary leave and wanted to scream out in joy when he was gone.

Without thinking, she threw her arms around Jason's neck, catching him off guard. He let out a grunt and slowly placed his hands on the small of her back.

"Thank you." She nuzzled her face into his chest, letting her tears drench his shirt. While she was embarrassed by this action, Jason didn't appear to mind. Or if he did, he wasn't saying anything about it.

His comforting hug tightened around her and she raised her head to glance over and past his shoulders. Sikowitz was approaching slowly, watching the pair with great concern. "You kids ready to go?" He ran his fingers down his beard and raised his bushy eyebrows. "Or do you need more time here?"

She released a shaky breath and stepped away from Jason. "I'll be fine, I think." Her eyes moved to her parents' grave and grief shook through her once more. She would have given anything to see their bodies once more, to see them even appearing to be asleep, rather than to have her final memory of them being in that horror.

Trina brought a hand to her mouth and shut her eyes while sobbing into it. "Maybe just a little bit longer."

* * *

What are your thoughts here? Is Gary that much of a snake did he truly care? He even helped David set up security throughout the house for the family. Anyway, what are your thoughts about the chapter?


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